Not dying. So my car Maxwell is terrified of snow and can’t handle the recent weather. Which was unlucky as this morning I had an appointment to get to, regardless of the snowy roads. I went to take a left off my street and Maxwell had what was essentially a panic attack, spinning and skidding out of my control onto the other side of the road. Oh, and did I mention I live on an interstate? If I’d left an hour earlier, during the rush, I probs wouldn’t be typing this. (Because I’d have cadaver hands, guys. Along with cadaver feet, head, arms, legs, torso, and internal organs.)
That being said, there are a lot of things this week that retroactively seem even greater because Maxwell didn’t hit a tree or burst into flames. Like:
Coraline. I will admit that I am a tad biased, sure. What can I say? I love Neil Gaiman. He seems so awesome that I am a little afraid of him. The original novella of Coraline was spooky and enjoyable and what the movie lacked in subtlety (not all that much, really) it made up for in visuals. Rachel and I saw it the other day in 3D. The stop-motion was gorgeous! Deliciously spooky, just like the book. (Even though Henry Selick left out the rat song, which I was particularly looking forward to. Ah, well. We are small, we are many / We are many, we are small / We were here before you rose / We will be here when you fall. Imagine that sung by two dozen tiny red-eyed rats and try telling me that’s not awesome.)
Michael Swaim. First he writes a hilarious ballad in the style of Homer and then he goes all Christian Lander on us in an Apple-vs-Mac column? Kudos, Mr. Swaim. Have a whole box of Kudos.
Jonathan Richman & The Modern Lovers. I believe we went over this.
Jon Hamm on 30 Rock. I am kind of all about Mad Men, and 3o Rock is pretty funny; it’s improbable I’d dislike watching the romantic liaisons of Tina Fey and the guy who plays Don Draper. And without the Brylcreem, when his hair is all floppy and ordinary, Jon Hamm is suddenly a million times more attractive. Handsome enough that me and my mom agree on it. Which is a little weird, not gonna lie.
Bunny slippers. I own some now! They have squishy stuffed fangs and look rabid. If I ever encounter a small, low-to-the-ground creature looking for trouble, it will know I am not to be messed with.