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Stuff Rachel Fucking Hates

There is a lot of it, let’s be honest. For now, though, I’m going to keep it to:

Fake Gay People. If you are straight, you should not have a Tegan & Sara lesbian haircut, wear flannel or hoodies, or hail from San Francisco. It’s okay to be a straight person in Women’s and Gender Studies, but only if you avoid doing all the things mentioned above. Otherwise, you are just going to confuse and upset people. Like Rachel.

Slow Computers. A lot of the comic mastery in the “Jizzed In My Pants” music video is lost when youtube is constantly freezing and/or skipping.

Sweaters. When they are cute and I do not own them. There’s a similar rule for boots.

PETA. For serious, guys? At no point in the planning process for this campaign did anyone think “Maybe using the rape, enslavement, murder, and systematic oppression of millions of people as a PR move is a bad idea?”

Bad Eggplant. Even worse than just bad food, there is a special kind of disdain reserved for the experience of taking something that should be delicious, and making it awful and mealy and dry and possibly harmful. Shame on you, cafeteria.

For tonight, I only really fucking hate five things. More in the future. Also upcoming: family secrets delved from the inside of my phone, and 25 things you probs have never wondered about me.

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