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Stuff Heather Thinks is Super Great

The redesign of the Broad! website.  Okay, so this is totally cheating and a shameless plug, since the Broad! redesign is what I spent my afternoon doing.  But… but… it’s so pretty and stylish and professional-looking!  Go on, go look at it.  Scroll over the About tab.  Do you see that submenu?  Do you?

I might cry.

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things I learned today

  • the origin story of M&Ms
  • how to “elevate the mundane”
  • “the #1 Fear He Has About Sex” (thanks, Cosmo!)
  • Alexis Bledel has joined Mad Men
  • proper techniques for ridding your bathroom of tiny black ants
  • it doesn’t matter how many times I submit a story for workshopping, it will still make me anxious all day
  • details re: the personal life of a certain doppelganger I know
  • how to battle your other self while time-traveling
  • paradoxes are likely unavoidable while time-traveling, but what to do if you need to undo one
  • I don’t like the cookies at [bagel eatery] nearly as much as I believe
  • I miss blogging?
  • if you squash bees to kill them, they release a swarm of pheromones upon the moment of death, hearkening a whole new crowd of bees to that spot

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GGCEx: Breakfast Edition

For breakfast this morning I ate an avocado breakfast panini, or, as I like to call it, an “Egg Nacho Panini.”  Yeah, be jealous. (Oh, and happy Passover! or Easter!)

Ingredients:

  • white bread
  • shredded nacho cheese
  • avocado, chopped 
  • red onion, chopped
  • fried egg (with dill)
  • baby spinach

Results:

Not as good as I had hoped; not enough red onion, maybe.  In retrospect, I was in a mood for something spicier.  More flavor needed.  Maybe feta? Crushed red pepper?  I’ll make it again, though.  It’s still got avocado and cheese in it, so, duh.

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GGCEx: All of the Cheese

(Alternative sandwich title: So Cheezy, Ho, My Swag’s Got High Cholesterol.)

Sometimes you have the intention to make avocado breakfast panini you found on the Internet, but somehow by the time you get home it’s 9:12pm and you’re starving and the idea of cooking an egg and slicing up an avocado in ADDITION to grilling a sandwich seems waaaaaaaay too much time before you can eat, so you throw every cheese in your fridge into the sandwich instead.  Bam.  Oh, and you burn the sandwich because you’re busy writing a blog post instead of watching the George Foreman.  So your sandwich looks like this:

Image

Ingredients:

  • “country white” bread, whatever the hell “country white” means
  • American cheese, 2 slices
  • feta
  • shredded nacho/taco cheese, however much you want

Results:

Cheesy!  Duh.  Super delicious.  The individual cheeses are not terribly easy to distinguish once they’ve melted together.  I’d say that it tasted like boxed macaroni and cheese, actually, if you had bread instead of pasta.  So if you like the idea of a mac and cheese sandwich, this is the one for you.

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GGCEx: Croque Monsieur

Full disclosure: I am a bit drunk.  There’s a mason jar quarter-full of cheap pinot in front of me and NSync’s “Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays” playing on the stereo (and yes, I am singing along passionately.  Duh.  Why would you ever wonder).  My roommates have disappeared.  Why does everyone decide to go to bed just when I reach the point of pleasantly tipsy?  Is it because it takes ages for me to arrive at that junction, or because I am an obnoxious drunk?  Jury’s out.

I threw a small grilled cheese party at my apartment tonight.  The croque monsieur turned out to be a team effort, and took twice as long to cook as the recipe claimed, but was ultimately delicious.

Ingredients:

  • butter (unsalted)
  • flour
  • milk
  • salt
  • black pepper
  • nutmeg
  • Gruyere cheese
  • Parmesan (fake Parmesan-Romano works well)
  • country white bread, the kind with white flour on top
  • Dijon mustard
  • Black Forest deli ham

First off, this takes like an hour to make.  I don’t care who tells you otherwise, even if it’s Ina Garten.  And you have to grate a hell lot of cheese.  That being said, this sandwich is worth it.  Whoever looked at a loaf of bread and said, “We should put ham, cheese and a bit of mustard between two of these, and then blanket the top of our creation with what is basically alfredo sauce except with nutmeg added” is quite clearly the smartest person of all time.  S/he should have won the Nobel Prize of food.  S/he is the original Top Chef.  A Platinum Chef, even.

Also, I made double chocolate cranberry cookies and my friend brought over maple snap cookies.  After I wash dishes, I will probably eat one more of each, even though I ate like five tonight.

Where did my roommates go?  Do they have a problem with old-school NSync?  Are they robots?  Because who could have a problem with old-school NSync, amirite?

I am going to wash all the dishes.  Have a lovely Friday night.

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GGCEx: The Beautiful People Basic

My dad likes what he likes.  If he isn’t familiar with it, he doesn’t want to become familiar with it.  This rule stretches across several arenas of his life, from vacations to movie genres to music, but where it’s most apparent is his relationship with food. If you can’t order it at Applebee’s, he calls it “beautiful people food.”  Most of what I cook, these days, falls into that category; he once asked me not to eat my bowl of chickpeas at the table with him, because it “looks, haha, kind of gross.”

Putting stuff into a grilled cheese, if it’s not tomato or bacon, moves it from the Normal People Food side of the chart into Beautiful People Food.  As I hate tomatoes with a fiery passion and love spinach, this grilled cheese is only for beautiful weirdos.  You’re a beautiful weirdo, right?  (Yeah, you are!)

The Beautiful People Basic

  • multigrain bread
  • havarti
  • bab(a)y spinach
  • crushed red pepper (I will probably put crushed red pepper in every GGCEx sandwich, get excited)
  • some chopped shallot

Thoughts:

Pretty good!  It’s quicker and easier to make than the Avocado Goat Supreme, largely because it’s got less ingredients and is therefore more amiable to squashing down with the spatula.  That also makes it easier to burn, too, which I discovered when I stepped away from the stove to split havarti cubes with my roommate instead of –– you know –– watching the pan.  Oops.  So one side was blackened.  (Like fancy fish plates!  I should start a fancy burned food restaurant!)

Even with the burned side, though, I enjoyed it.  Instead of the explosive illegal-warehouse-party-in-your-mouth that was the Avocado Goat Supreme, this was like a backyard wedding with mason jar candleholders and lots of outdoorsy hipsters in floaty clothing being photographed in soft yellow light.  If you’re looking for something to eat with soup that’s a tiny bit more colorful and sharp than American cheese on white, this is it.

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jaane kyun

this is what my room has looked like for the past ~3 days:

I think I need to get rid of that ski jacket you can see hanging in the closet, I’ve had that since like 2004. Anyways clearly my entire life is an equivalent huge mess, and all I do now is eat scones until I’m physically ill and play the X Files on Netflix on my shitty connection and pack in between mild panic attacks. The good news is that I’ve had occasion to try many new and exciting ways to drink tequila! Also, duh, Jaane Kyun. I hope you’re all having great weekends!! xoxo, gossip girl.

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