I read on Twitter this week that your mom told you your first word was “Oprah.” Ha ha! That is so funny. I don’t have a funny story in that vein, but I can tell you that in the summer I was five, I answered only to “Leonardo” (as in the Ninja Turtle) or “Dorothy” (as in Gale). What cute things we did as little kids! Oh hoo haw. I also saw on Twitter that you have sea monkeys. What a coincidence! I too have a small aquatic pet! These two things, in concert with my strong appreciation for your portrayal of Kurt Hummel on the popular television serial Glee, have driven me to the inevitable conclusion that we should be friends.
Think about it: whom else are you going to play a rousing game of Literati or Scattergories with when you’re sick of all your famous friends? Aside from your family, who maybe don’t even play Literati? Me. That’s whom. I would play Literati with you. That’s because I am such a good friend. And if Darren Criss happens to tag along, so be it! That is my burden to take off your shoulders. Think of me as an ox, my (future) friend. An ox full of love.