Monthly Archives: January 2011

Stuff Heather Thinks is Super Great

So the other day Rachel and I were in the kitchen talking and I said, “I think I’m going to do Super Great today or tomorrow… I feel so bad, we haven’t done our things in like forever.”  And she said, “Ugh, yeah.”  We’re sorry.  We are terrible bloggers and will try to improve that in the coming year.

Buckle your computer chairs and/or laps, cats and kittens!  There’s a whole lotta backlog going on here:

I live with Rachel, Emma, Batia and Tegan now! HURRAH.

My new job is awesome. Admittedly, I have only been working there for ten days, but so far those ten days have been a veritable wonderland of filing and eating chocolate and getting paid.  Because I went to college there and knew most of my colleagues already, I had built-in work friends.  Plus, I have a desk (I get to sit, you guys!  At my job!!) that I can personalize however I like.  Oh, and I’m in charge of the official Facebook page for my department, too.

Jeggings. Okay, yes, I thought jeggings were weird at first and openly mocked them.  That was before I tried on a pair (on sale on sale on sale).  Comfortable, warm, and they make my legs look fucking fantastic.

How to Look Good Naked. I saw a couple episodes of this onDemand once, years ago, immediately before it disappeared from the service.  Now it’s on Hulu and I can watch seemingly any episode, any time.  Batia says it best: “At first you think, ugh, this sounds terrible, but then it turns out to be pretty good!  Turns out, the way to look good naked is to feel good about yourself and be naked!”  It’s true.  How to Look Good Naked was more or less my introduction to fat acceptance, without ever having heard the term.  The show introduced to me the “radical” idea that you could be exactly who you were and look exactly how you looked and that was fine.  That, you know, you didn’t have to hate your body or be constantly self-improving if you were big.

On a related note, this show is also the main foundation for my belief that Carson Kressly would make an awesome BFF.

Johnny Weir came out with a memoir, Welcome to My World.  Oh, and I MET HIM. Yeah, you read that correctly.  He wore a dark brown, very expensive-looking turtleneck sweater and seemed very polite.


Havarti cheese. Excellent-sounding name, delicious taste.  If I were geeky enough to say things like “Yummers,”  I would say “Yummers” after eating a sandwich with havarti in it.

Community. After I finish this post, I’m going to find season 1 online and start from the beginning.  No lie.

“Valerie” by Mark Ronson/Amy Winehouse. One of those songs I’ve been replaying for a week.  UNGH WHEN WILL I EVER BE ABLE TO STOP LISTENING TO IT

Easy Wonderful, Guster. Big surprise, as I love most everything Guster.  If I could stop listening to “Valerie” for forty-five minutes of any given day, I would like to listen to this album more.

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big emma: a life

We hereby commemorate Sir Humphrey Montgomery, commonly called “Big Emma” by those who knew her (particularly once it was determined that Sir Humphrey was female-bodied and -gender-identified).  Big Emma died of red leg disease, a common and highly contagious frog affliction, around 7:30pm this evening.  Little Emma, originally believed on the verge of following suit, looks to be making a comeback.

Big Emma is survived by her human mother, a young woman who probably brought the disease on her in the first place from shoddy aquarium upkeep.  Funeral services were held in a local bathroom, where the mother gave a brief speech along the lines of “Goodbye, Big Emma.  I always liked you, even when you were a bully.”

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true life: i don’t get ebay

I am perusing eBay right now!  For the first time!

Hard to believe, but true: I am not the hip blogging prodigy you all imagine. In many respects I am a Luddite no better than your parents.  Of course I have always been aware of the existence of the site, but for many years, this thing called “eBay” held no significance to me aside from serving as the inspiration (along with the Backstreet Boys) of a hilarious Weird Al parody.  Now, that’s not so.

Apparently, eBay is the place to go if I ever decide I need inexpensive open-leg restraints!  Obviously, this is a crucial need among American consumer audiences.  But I don’t quite get why eBay bothers selling anything else.  Why encourage me to purchase a Karaoke Revolution bundle for Wii, at the best price (that I could see) of $64.99, when Amazon sells it new at $49.99?  I’m more likely to trust something that came straight from –– assuming I did not buy the item through the Marketplace –– than some seller on eBay.  But then, I don’t use eBay, so I’m an outlier by default.

No, you know what?  All this philosophizing about eBay’s business practices versus Amazon’s and whatnot is just an excuse.  eBay bewilders me.  There, I said it. It’s too big, too varied.  Where would I even know to look for what I want, if what I want isn’t neurotically specific and/or bizarre (e.g. a grilled Cheesus)?  If there are 700 sellers of the nonspecific thing I want, how long will it take me to determine which price is lowest and therefore most cost-effective?  What if by that point, that seller no longer has the lowest price, or it’s been bought by someone else on the Internet, probably someone who uses an iPad to read Wired and invented the ghost-in-a-jar trick?  WHAT IF EBAY RUINS ANY AND ALL MENTAL ACUITY I’VE MANAGED TO GATHER TOGETHER OVER THE YEARS?

Because then I will have to go over to Amazon anyway.

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my dear acquaintance, it’s so good to know you

First, an update!

As Rachel mentioned, she and I are both starting new jobs in the coming weeks.  (I believe hers starts this week, actually –– good luck, Rachel!  We love you!  GO BE AWESOME.)  Mine — at our alma mater! woo! — starts in ten days and in seven, I’ll actually be moving out of my parents’ house to crash with Rachel and her roommates.  Yes: until I find a place of my own, Rachel’s IKEA couch will serve as HRHF World Headquarters.  I have almost as many feelings about this as there are cats in the children’s book I Live With 500 Cats!, a product my coworker found in our stationery department.

Fine.  You called my bluff.  Though I have feelings about all these changes, they number well under 500.

Mostly, I believe that 2011 is going to be way, way better than 2010, and I’m not saying that solely because on New Year’s Day, when I opened the freezer to get English muffins for breakfast, I found an auspicious pair of Cinnabons instead.

New Year’s resolutions for 2011, Year of the Fuck Yeah:

1. Blog more/apologize less (for not blogging).  Srsly.  Also, apologize less in general.  It’s a habit ingrained from being geeky and anxious in elementary school that still, at the age of 23, gives me the shine of an elementary schoolgirl.

2. Finish [redacted], the project I started for NaNoWriMo. I’m not shooting for another Water for Elephants here, but completing the first draft would be nice.  And the second, and seventy-fifth.  On a related note, submit to more litmags.

3. Indulge in my athletic side. For Christmas, to my surprise, I was given a Wii with Wii Fit!  Insert emoticon here.  I Wii-boxed so hard over Christmas that I injured my shoulder.  Re: Wii Fit, I’m going to yoga the crap out of it.  Oh, and Rachel?  Prepare to be trounced in bowling.  At the very least, prepare to be trash-talked.

4. Cook more/cook different foods.

What resolutions do you fine gents and gentleladies have?


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two thousand eleven

well, we made it

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