Stuff Rachel Fucking Hates

I don’t know what to say about this week/month/world that hasn’t already been said. The only thing worse than children dying is children dying on purpose because they wanted to because the world we have made for them is literally unlivable, and that is what is happening, that is where we’re at. If we’re being honest, I’ve been kind of down and dazed and out of it and a little crazy all week, and I assumed that this was because of some cosmic alignment of my father visiting and the beginning of fall which is also the beginning of winter and maybe a little bit of tao lin and also the general malaise of missing people but then this evening I typed “gay” into Google news to get a daily fix started and this is is what I got and I really just all but gave up, on the fix, on this day, on this week, on everything. This is why I’ve felt like this whole week was a mistake. Because Jesus Christ, how can we live like this. In a literal sense, some of us can’t. I thought I could keep this in the background of my life, perform the kind of triage that we do with things like 9/11 where we know it’s real but live like it’s not because doing otherwise is too overwhelming. But then this hit me, and I found out I was wrong, I can’t do that at all. I don’t know. I can’t talk about it. I can’t I can’t I can’t. I can’t understand. I can’t even begin the effort it would take to figure out how to live in a world like this. I don’t know how to acknowledge that this is the status quo but still make grocery shopping lists and decide whether to buy a gym membership and read Freedom. I hate this. Or I want to hate it, but I’m too exhausted to even do that.I’ve got nothing. If you’ve got anything, that’s good, I’m really glad for you. If you’ve got enough to share, by all means, girl, help a sister out.

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3 Comments

Filed under Rachel

3 responses to “Stuff Rachel Fucking Hates

  1. Heather

    I have nothing.

  2. Brianna

    I’d be lying if I said I haven’t been staring at this page for 10 minutes wondering what to say. I…also have nothing.

  3. andrew

    I have nothing.

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