Dear Isaiah Mustafa,
Let’s get married. It would be a great life, with you and I and your beautiful abs and your wonderful, hilarious way of talking. If you are already married, don’t worry: I am perfectly at ease with the idea of carrying on a brief, powerful romance. We could meet in rock caves underneath waterfalls and ride horses on the beach, and maybe we could go to the opera once, wearing partial masks to disguise ourselves, and when I fell asleep during the second act you could prop my head against your shoulder and stroke my hair gently.
With love, I await your enthusiastic reply.