Emma here. Some of you may know me from the comments section, where my trademark wit/love of capslock has made me something of a minor celebrity. And, as you may also know, I am IRL friends with Heather and Rachel, as well as Rachel’s IRL roommate. Because of my close relationship with said bloggers, I have been asked to write this blog’s inaugural guest post and have decided to use the opportunity to present my own feelings about Heather and Rachel. Without further ado, I present Emma Has Feelings About Heather and Rachel.
Heather and Rachel Are Okay. They are pretty cool people. We’ve been friends for awhile.
The Celebrities Heather and Rachel Most Want to Fuck Are Michael Chabon and Keira Knightley With Short Hair, Respectively. My response to both of these is “ew.” Chabon looks like a predatory drama teacher and Knightley ruins every movie she is in (JUST TELLING THE TRUTH HERE).
Heather and Rachel Love Feminist Blogs. They get mad at me for saying things like, “Jessica Valenti is annoying” or “Jezebel commenters are dumb Wesleyan freshman.” Actually, they get mad at me for saying other people are annoying a lot.
On that note, Heather and Rachel Don’t Really Talk Shit On Other People. I do.
Heather and Rachel Don’t Drink Coffee. Again, weird. Heather only drinks chai and Rachel, as we know, is obsessed with tea/would have sex with tea if it were physically possible. Tea is okay and everything, but coffee is better.
Heather and Rachel Are Pretty Good Roommates. I am definitely the weak link when it comes to roommate stuff like having a car, cooking and being clean. I do, however, take care of the cat (because he is MINE).
Anyway, that’s all folks. Need to go listen to Best Coast/Mel Gibson audio on my IPOD TOUCH.