a marginally triumphant return

hello children. I have returned from New York City and my number one feeling is that I will be tired forever. On the other hand I paid three bills before lunch today, so maybe I’m doing better than I thought. I thought about writing a list of things I hate but I sounded so whiny and dumb that even I hated me, so that’s just not happening this week. Here are things that are happening this week:

  • Emma moves in on Wednesday! Omfg! Girl!
  • Monsterball on Thursday! Heather already has an outfit. Obviously. I do not. Also obviously.
  • Also on Thursday – the beginning of Vegan July! I am considering buying vegan cream cheese to celebrate. Am also considering trying to make someone else eat the rest of the cheese in my fridge.
  • A kitten? I think? Emma “is in correspondence with someone on Petfinder,” but I am unclear as to the kitten timeline. You can ask Emma for clarification.
  • A trip to IKEA, I think? I have never been to IKEA, but I looked at their website today and felt intimidated by the Swedish words. Also the fact that everything there costs money. Emma tells me they will move stuff for free though? I don’t know, all I know about Sweden is Jonas, and I miss him a lot. If anyone in IKEA has a beard I may just start crying in the middle of the store.
  • I am going to go back home to my mom’s house and feed her cat, because this weekend is her birthday and she is being lavished with attention by her international gentleman caller. (true.) Here is an excerpt from her housesitting instruction: “there is lentil casserole in freezer with recipe on top.  this is great with sour cream (sorry, i ate all the sour cream).”

Are you excited? I’m excited. I think we are moving to a new daily fix style on Autostraddle, and probably pictures of me drunk will be released on the internet later this week. I’m excited about both those things, so excited that I think I might need to take a nap.

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5 Comments

Filed under Rachel

5 responses to “a marginally triumphant return

  1. emma

    this time tomorrow we will be toasting the sunset and the beginning of VEGAN JULY.

    i can’t believe you’ve never been to ikea. it’s horrifying/great.

    the cat adoption woman is being “a bitch,” but i am definitely going to adopt a kitten, it is just a matter of obtaining one, ideally one that doubles as a vehicle: http://2.bp.blogspot.com/__tqMFxhesRY/SjEuNlToEFI/AAAAAAAAAHk/Nu5Go1O0DpQ/s400/catbus1.jpg

  2. andrew

    i have never stepped foot in ikea before, so i’m in the dark on that. tofutti cream cheese / cat vehicles are excellent ways of starting vegan july.

  3. emma

    OKAY SORRY IT’S ACTUALLY WEIRD THAT NONE OF YOU HAVE BEEN TO IKEA, EVERYONE GOES TO IKEA, I DON’T UNDERSTAND WHERE FURNITURE THAT IS NOT FROM IKEA COMES FROM.

    CAPS WERE NECESSARY.

  4. andrew

    i feel this is appropriate:

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