Stuff Rachel Fucking Hates

Okay fine I like Sleigh Bells I hate liking things everyone else likes, and I hate liking things that hipsters like. But I like this band. Mostly I like female vocalists who yell things and kind of nonsensical lyrics. Sue me.

Also though I think I like “Bionic” This is less excusable and more embarrassing.

Remember when I said our basement was really scary Guess who had to go down there at 1 am last night to do laundry because I had put off doing it for an entire week and my work clothes were still covered with high-end authentic Middle Eastern food for yuppies. A new fact about the basement I may not have mentioned before is that there’s this one old magazine laying on top of a box, and there’s a couple in an ad on the back whose eyes follow you around the basement the entire time you’re down there. I am too scared to move the magazine. Obviously.

I am excited to go to NYC Pride but sad also because my little brother’s “band” has a “gig” that weekend and I wish I could go to that. On the other hand at least this way I don’t have to confront the fear that I will strongly dislike their music. Also partying with my boss has always proven to be a good decision before, and I suspect that will also be the case here.

Writing in the real world is hard Immediately after “finishing” my “thesis” I felt like this would be awesome, because there would be no advisor to be held accountable to, and so what if I wrote entire pages with zero dramatic action and so what if I didn’t know what the “motivation” was for any of my “characters,” no one had to know about it. This is true, but also makes for lazy writing, and I also hadn’t realized that writing in the real world mostly means there is no ever-patient advisor to hold my hand and tell me repeatedly that really, Rachel, this is fine, no it’s very good, no really you’re a fine writer, this part where she, um, parks her car or whatever is very nice. It turns out that even tepidly reassuring platitudes are better than no platitudes at all!

Running low on tea again. You might think this would not be a problem because it is, like, July, but you would be wrong. My anxiety about running out of tea is partly mitigated by the fact that I am currently employed “making and serving specialty beverages” (that’s what my resume says!) and therefore have access to all the espresso I want.

While I am looking forward to Vegan July, I also think it will be kind of hard. It won’t be that hard as long as I never leave my apartment, which is actually very likely, but once you are in the real world people try to pull shit like putting milk in their falafel balls. Honestly, who does that? Also, no one but my housemates and Heather are super supportive of this. I haven’t told my mother yet because she will roll her eyes and/or stress about what to feed me. I talked about it with one friend of mine this week and her response was “You know that it’s going to be, like, really hard to bake, right?” What do you even say to that?

Peter is sabotaging Best of Craigslist In order for BoC to work, no one else can cruise Craigslist as much as I do, or they’ll already have seen all the good stuff. Like I was going to post this but he posted in on Facebook first because he hates this blog and doesn’t want it to be happy. Anyways I’ll post it here but it is not an official Best of Craiglist, just proof that I already had a jpeg of this saved before he posted it. JUST SAYING.

I just wanna go to Sweden, is that so much to ask I want Jonas to rub my shoulders and feed me crisp bread and have him translate tabloid stories about the Swedish royal family for me. Sometimes I want this so bad that it makes me want to cry or get on a plane. Other things I want: for Anna to live in my house and make beautiful things and feed me extravagant grilled (vegan!) cheese sandwiches, and for Matt to move here instead of Bangladesh and make bizarre alien observations about my life. (“What do you think about the Israeli-Palestinian conflict? Because I talked to someone Palestinian the other day and they’re really upset about it!”) Okay, #creepyindianostalgia out

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2 Comments

Filed under Rachel

2 responses to “Stuff Rachel Fucking Hates

  1. Heather

    Matt is moving to Bangladesh?! Uh, what?

    Also, I agree that writing postcollege is hard/I think Peter is beating me in the Daily Challenge. And I am writing about Steve today too! And also I am way jealous that you’re going to Rodeo Disco. I guess I will have to spend that weekend constructing my Gaga costume without you.

    (EVERYONE READING THIS SHOULD GO TO RODEO DISCO AND REPORT BACK TO ME, IT SHALL BE AWESOME)

  2. andrew

    postcollege writing is destroying me.

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