Things Rachel Fucking Hates

Batia totally could have liveblogged Eurovision, she was like this close to doing it, but she didn’t. Aren’t you kind of hurt? I’m kind of hurt. I now have no idea what’s happening with Eurovision, other than the cryptic missive “Lithuania was robbed.” That could be all I ever know. Thanks a lot, Batia.

Catfail We were going to get a cat. His name is Bruce, and I had it on good authority that he was “a quality cat.” Unfortunately he has instead gone to some fucking pinko commie who’s living in the liberal oasis in the west of the state. That’s fine, cat. Eat your vegan soba noodle salad or some shit, I don’t even care.

I can’t fucking find my fucking apron for my fucking job I am irrationally afraid of being fired, at the same time as I am more realistically afraid of having to quit because I get a full-time job. Also, here is a conversation I had at said job yesterday:

Other barista: What school did you go to again?

Me: [Redacted].

Other barista: Oh, I know someone who used to go there! David [redacted]? He graduated two or three years ago.

Me: Sorry, I’ve never heard of him.

Other barista: Really? He was a great guy, and he was really friendly, he like, knew everyone. I’m surprised you don’t know him.

Me: Yeah, I don’t know, I’m pretty antisocial.

Other barista: ….oh.

I am at all times about 45 seconds away from a panic attack about moving I have no idea how I am going to fit all my shit into like sixteen boxes that we stole from a liquor store, and I keep trying to motivate myself to do it by telling myself that if I go through all my stuff I will come across my apron for work in there somewhere, but I fear that that is not even true.

It is so hard for me to figure out how to do things on this new computer, I am so fucking dumb Now the only electronic device I have that I feel confident I am smarter than is my blender.

Also I think I killed my cilantro plant It’s probably symbolic

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1 Comment

Filed under Rachel

One response to “Things Rachel Fucking Hates

  1. Batia

    1. I am sorry I didn’t liveblog Eurovision for you. The finals haven’t happened yet, but I don’t think I will be watching it live.
    2. Moving is stressing me out.
    3. My cilantro plant is way dead.

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