please, sir, i’d like some work

Guys, it’s happened.

Today someone asked me what my plans were for after graduation and I muttered something along the lines of “I have projects” without really answering the question.  I meant it to be self-deprecating and jokey, but the guy I was talking to took me completely seriously and replied, very earnestly, that “projects are cool, good for you.”  Later on, I realized that perhaps I had not been kidding as much as I intended –– I don’t have a full-time offer, and I do have side projects.

This cannot stand.  I love freelancing and I’ll never stop looking for opportunities, but I can’t let it be my only job –– I refuse to be the person who pins all their hopes (and money) on Stan Grossman and the Scottsdale convention, you know?  Most of the time it seems that if you start out saying “Oh, you know, I have projects,” then next thing you know, you’re the person who says, “Well, I’m studying under the great Carl Weathers, so… things are looking up.”

Hiring managers of the world, take note!  I am eminently employable.  Here, let me break down some pros and cons for you.

Strengths: writing, copy-editing, researching, customer service, typing with purpose

Weaknesses: does not understand how to play Minesweeper, hates people who hide in the break room instead of doing their assigned task

I hope that helps.  Furthermore, I hope to hear from you soon.

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