dear lane bryant,

I really like you most of the time, but not when I open up my inbox and see yet another email from you.  Sometimes it is more than twice a day!  Lane, this is getting to be too much.  I feel suffocated sometimes, you know?  Stop pressuring me to buy your clothing. It may be “up to 40% off” but I know that once I get to your store it will be 15% off of, like, a $55 item.  Frankly, I cannot afford all these “deals” you keep spouting, and all this insistence that I can makes me feel, a little bit, as if I’m being ignored.  Also, stalked.  (I can’t help noticing the emails piling up with more frequency when I don’t respond to them.  Don’t think I don’t notice.)

I think we should take a break.  Email-wise at the very least.

Sincerely,
Heather

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