Stuff Rachel Fucking Hates

I currently have 887 unread items on my RSS feed. JK I just read Emma’s tumblr and now I have 882. Anyways, here is why I hate this: I added like 100 million blogs/tumblrs to this feed so that I would NEVER AGAIN run into that problem where I want to waste time on the internet but there is nothing to do, I wanted to always have something to read. But this was a bad idea. A) When I do want to waste time on the internet I’m very committed so reading these things does not take that long, and when I’m not trying to waste time, which is actually most of the time, these things just add up. And B) It’s kind of a lose-lose in either case, because if I’ve cleaned out my feed I feel super lame for having that much time on my hands, and if I don’t I feel super lame for not being able to keep up with it. Does this make sense? Maybe I should have titled this item “I hate that I am crazy.”

Did I mention I hate Scott Brown IHATEHIMSOMUCH. It’s like Mitt Romney created some kind of curse where now Massachusetts is doomed to “pepper-and-salt” haired patronizing conservatives with shit-eating smiles.

Also, the “bros” who sit behind me in Shakespeare OMG STOP TALKING Realistically, I do not really want to listen to anyone talk about Shakespeare ever, but if I have to, I do not want it to be you. Thanks.

That cafe that used to only be for attractive gay people now is not only for attractive gay people Like, there are old people in there. Who, inconceivably, also have PowerBooks and look like they’re probably listening to the Antlers or something. Who are those people? Also, why can I not find a seat EVER EVER EVER now? I’m warning you, I am this close to finding some other cafe where I can order an excellent rooibos tea and “cranberry-pecan roll” from a girl with revolvers tattooed beneath her collarbone.

This earthquake in Haiti is really bumming me out I’m joking, but I’m also not really joking. I keep getting into this mindset where I’m like “Oh look, the Red Cross raised 12.1 million dollars! This is so good, we’re such good people, I’ll buy myself a latte!” But then while waiting in the line for my latte I’m like oh wait, like 50,000 people are already dead, and even if we manage to get, like, a bottle of Dasani to their surviving family members, they are still fucking dead. This is so fucking bad you guys, srsly. The pretty girl from The Arcade Fire wrote a very nice article in The Guardian asking you to donate to Partners in Health, she is pretty, please do it!

Some days I really only want to listen to Amanda Blank Is this embarrassing? Say no.

I am literally three episodes behind on 30 Rock Has this ever happened before? What if it causes the molten core of the earth to stop spinning? WHERE IS HILARY SWANK

Now Is The Hour, by Tom Spanbauer I’m sorry, I just didn’t like it, ok? Why is it 500 pages long? RIDDLE ME THIS.

IT’S ALL OK THOUGH BECAUSE THESE EXIST


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YES THEY ARE LADY GAGA COOKIES, YOU ARE WELCOME

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3 Comments

Filed under Rachel

3 responses to “Stuff Rachel Fucking Hates

  1. Heather

    …did you make those cookies?

  2. emma

    YEAH MY TUMBLR!

    dude, i am obsessed with amanda blank and have been since she said “I fuck to bust nuts, fuck a man’s respect” on “loose.”

    sometimes when i’m in philly and in a neighborhood that i know she frequents (creepy), i start hoping i’ll see her. love her.

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