Dear Lady Gaga,
I hear that you are going to perform for the Queen. Congratulations on being so wildly successful and awesome! I can only imagine the millions of copies The Fame Monster has been selling this week (as it should, judging by “Monster” and the “Bad Romance” video). But to be entirely honest, you make me feel a little lackluster –– how is it possible you are only a year older than I am? I mean, holy crap. When you factor in that The Fame dropped (and blew up) a year ago, when you were the same age I am now –– well, goodness gracious, does that make me and my peers look like epic failures. What have we been doing with our lives? Where are our awards and gigantic fanbase? When might we achieve the sort of success that engenders weird shot-by-shot recreations of our efforts using The Sims 2 as a platform? I fear the answer to that question is never.
I guess this letter doesn’t really have a point, now I think about it.
a lazy (lady) monster