Stuff Rachel Fucking Hates

Obnoxious customers. I’m trying to keep all the barista complaints into one item, or else they’ll take over. Basically,  if I have to make coffee for one more guy who crooks their finger at me coyly to get my attention, who makes me lean over a dirty counter in the middle of a loud set when there are other people waiting just so they can try to flirt with me, or who orders something and then when it’s time to pay says “Uh, I’m in the band that’s on next, so…” I’mma choke a bitch. This is not worth two dollars in tips.

That Mario song “Why You Wanna Break Up.” Jesus Christ, Mario, I want to break up with you when I hear this song and I’m not even dating you. “Girl, it wouldn’t be the same if I was with somebody else”? “When I kiss you so good why you wanna break up?” Are you serious? Are you begging an eighth grader not to leave you? Because that’s what it sounds like.

Stupak blah blah blah I know I should be angry about this, and I am, but I’m also just too tired to do anything but crawl in a hole and hope I never need an abortion ever.

The de-gaying of Tom Ford’s new movie A Single Man. I am probably not going to see this movie, because that costs money and I don’t have an attention span that long. But doesn’t this just seem inherently silly and also childish to create promotional material that intentionally obscures the actual plotline of a movie just because it has dudes who like dudes in it? Why did you make the movie, then? Was your entire plan to try to trick people into the theater, and then hope they enjoy the movie anyway? Generations of single straight ladies have gotten to sigh over Colin Firth; can’t we let the gays have a turn without getting all uptight about it?

I will meet my little brother’s new girlfriend in like five hours. Oh man I hope I don’t hate her. I also hope she doesn’t find this post. Boy would my face be red. (Unless I hate her, I guess? I don’t know.)

My fucking freezer won’t fucking freeze stuff. That is its only job. My roommate showed me today that you can actually just turn up the coldness, so I guess maybe it was kind of my fault, but whatever. YOU RUINED MY ICE CREAM, FREEZER.

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST THIS IS TERRIFYING So, there’s a pretty good chance that if you know about ReBorns or have watched this really creepy documentary then you are already aware of how weird and not okay they are. But then there is this! Who would take something that already gives me shudders and turn it into a thing that literally gives me nightmares? Is it supposed to be premature? Then why does it have a full head of hair? Oh my god so many feelings, none of them good.

Advertisements

2 Comments

Filed under Rachel

2 responses to “Stuff Rachel Fucking Hates

  1. Heather

    i try not to store ice cream in my freezer. it’s never worked.

    re: A Single Man: the de-gayed publicity is not the decision of anyone directly involved with the production of the film. it’s the studio that handles the marketing and judging from past behavior, it’s probs the Weinstein brothers in charge of all the trailers. it really sucks that it’s been misleadingly cut to deny the male/male relationships in the film, but that wasn’t a directorial decision. i’ll probs still see it.

  2. Heather

    re: Regretsy reborn: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s