Stuff Rachel Fucking Hates

Growing up. At some point, it was apparently assumed by those around me that I’m old enough now to handle things like owning a car or living on my own. This assumption was incorrect. Not only can I not manage to renew my car registration, fix my broken glasses, keep money in my bank account, or order new checks, but I couldn’t even get it together enough to go grocery shopping for a full week. Do you know what that means? I am not capable of feeding myself. Someone please call my mother.

Maine. I don’t even fucking want to talk about it.

Shiitake mushrooms. I did not know I did not like these until my boss gave me some and I tried to make and eat them and they just taste kind of like, I don’t know, fungus. Good to know!

Goth/trance DJs with leather jackets from 1982. I feel like it says something about you if you can’t even choose between the genres of “goth” and “trance.” One thing you can say about people who identify as either  “goth” or “trance,” at least they know who you are. Get your shit together, DJ, and then never play here again.

Remember that time I was supposed to email my advisor new pages of my thesis by yesterday Oh my God I’m hilarious

My baby brother has a girlfriend? This isn’t something I “hate” unequivocally, exactly, but a thing that I have a lot of questions about. Is this a good idea? Is she one of those people who thought The Kite Runner was a great book? Is he past the point where he thinks mixing everything in the kitchen together, including potato chips, into an omelet tastes good? If not, he may not be mature enough to handle this. It only adds to the already worrying list of questions I have about him. Will he ever get a job? Will he ever not be cooler than me? Would a Jason-Derulo-style chinstrap look good on him? Or would it cause him, too, to pop-and-lock in front of windows like a douche? I JUST DON’T KNOW

Guys did it make you really sad that Dotcom didn’t get the part on 30 Rock this week? It made me and Peter really sad. Don’t tell me you haven’t seen the episode yet, I already know that I am always the last person to see every 30 Rock episode ever. TEAM DOTCOM

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3 Comments

Filed under Rachel

3 responses to “Stuff Rachel Fucking Hates

  1. Batia

    Oh man I wanted him to get the part so bad too! Oh, Dot.com.

  2. Heather

    man, i should really watch more 30 Rock. like, episodes that didn’t happen two seasons ago.

    and also, when did you break your glasses?

  3. Peter

    I’m happy for you Rachel, and Imma let you finish, but GODEL ESCHER BACH WAS THE GREATEST BOOK OF ALL TIME.

    Of all time.

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