Stuff Rachel Fucking Hates

People who take too long in the dressing room. There is a six-item limit. You have been in there for twenty minutes, so either you took more than six items or you are practicing the Sun Salutation in each outfit to see if it’s appropriate for yoga. Either way, I hate you.

School. This is the lightest workload I’ve had in, I don’t know, a long time, and I still can’t handle doing it. Read like 75 pages over the course of a three-day weekend? Not so much. My life feels like the beginning of that Beastie Boys song. “Fight for your right to not do all of your James Baldwin reading.”

Writing a thesis is so freaking hard oh my god If I were to draw a graph of my feelings about my thesis, it would look like a ski slope. There were points were I was convinced a Pulitzer was in order. (Judge away.) Currently, I feel like I should be sentenced by a court of law to never write anything more important than tweets about Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson so as to avoid permanently damaging English language and literature. I am tempted to pull down the shades in my room and write bad poetry about this BUT I WOULD FUCK THAT UP TOO.

When you try to make ice cream but it won’t freeze right Seriously, that is an ice cream maker’s only job. You put the ice cream mixture in and press a button. If what you take out is just as liquidy as what you put in, that is a pretty useless machine. Maybe I should have just bought one off Craigslist that was shaped like a penguin.

Salman Khan. Ugh. Who even likes him? He is not good-looking and takes off his shirt all the time even though he looks sort of gross and Katrina Kaif you can do so much better! He sort of maybe threatened Aishwarya Rai and is involved with Mumbai crime families and makes bad movies! Also in 2002 he was arrested for negligent driving because he crashed his car into a Mumbai bakery and killed like three people. If you have ever been to a Mumbai bakery you know that this is an unforgivable thing.

HEALTHCARE IS SOME FUCKED UP SHIT I’ll be honest; healthcare in America is one of the #1 things I know least about. I literally know more high-level calculus than I have accurate information about America’s healthcare system. To wave my little privilege flag, I have to admit that it’s never really been an issue for me. The most I’ve ever had to worry about is making sure I have enough for the $25 copay on me when I go to the office. But really I am so so so in the minority here. This system has worked okay for me (who has never really been seriously ill and needed emergency or serious medical care) but is not working for millions and millions of people. I always vaguely knew this to be true, but what really drove it home for me was this discussion on Autostraddle. (Scroll down to the comments. Seriously.) There are people literally and actually dying because they can’t get care through our current system. There are EMT drivers who are paying patients’ ambulance bills out of their own pocket so that they don’t have to watch them die. People from virtually every other developed country have their mouths hanging open in shock at how incredibly poorly we manage our resources around providing medical care. (How does the US spend like twice as large a percent of GDP as Britain on healthcare when no one is actually receiving it?) Basically, I’m not saying the public option is necessarily the 100% correct one, but can we agree that what we have now isn’t working?

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3 Comments

Filed under Rachel

3 responses to “Stuff Rachel Fucking Hates

  1. Batia

    OH HOW THE MIGHTY HAVE FALLEN!

    Also, don’t forget poaching tigers.

    Also, why Ranbir why?!

    • Rachel

      don’t think that it stopped me from making delicious avocado ice cream. because it didn’t. also i have a ton of flour for you

  2. Heather

    re: school — I’m with you. why it is so hard to watch a freaking experimental short film for class, I don’t know.

    re: healthcare, I am still with you.

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