Stuff Rachel Fucking Hates

Hospitals. This morning I gave a ride to someone who wouldn’t be able to drive themselves home because they were about to be sedated, and waited four hours at the hospital for their routine procedure to be open. Man, there is nothing about that place that I like. Over-airconditioned, full of super-depressing old people (sorry, elderly! I appreciate you as people, but sometimes it makes me sad to look at you, especially when you are frail and ill), and nurses who are apparently too busy to come over and take this IV out so we can leave, or let your patient know that I have gone to get the car and am waiting outside the door for them, or even notice that I have been here since 9 in the morning. The free toast and juice you offered does not make up for this.

Low-calorie recipes. Let me get some things straight: I love quinoa, plain tofu, lowfat yogurt, and granola. I am excited about the prospect of eating lentils for dinner. So if your food is too “healthy” for me to eat, there is a problem. Listen, people, I am as worried about my arteries as the next guy, but sometimes you have to put some cheese and butter in stuff to have it taste good! Just man up and do it!

Glenn Beck. He may already have been featured as a Thing I Hate, but whatever. This man is like the “behavioral issues” kid in your fourth grade class, the one whose contribution to a discussion of the multiplication tables was yelling out PENIS, except someone gave him a TV show. The arrest of Professor Henry Louis Gates Jr. has incited a national conversation on privilege and race and police procedure; issues are being brought to the surface that we’ve been trying really hard to ignore for generations, and everyone acknowledges that it is kind of a big deal. A time to choose our words carefully and set the tone for a new era, right? A time to put aside our knee-jerk reactions and try to understand where our fellow man is coming from? Or maybe a time to yell “OBAMA HATES WHITE PEOPLE” on national television. Thanks for that one, Glenn. Why don’t you sit down now, and we’ll just call you when it’s time for cookies and juice.

Ugh my thesis is going to be a total disaster maybe I should give up now and start researching other options, like surrogate motherhood or selling my organs or reality television.
You know what, I wouldn’t even be good at reality television.

Creamed chipped beef. I have never actually eaten this. But my dad recently rediscovered it while on vacation, and after meditating upon what it really means as a food product, I have decided I hate it on principle.

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1 Comment

Filed under Rachel

One response to “Stuff Rachel Fucking Hates

  1. Heather

    Glenn Beck’s an idiot. Have I shown you this? http://www.cracked.com/blog/?p=10089

    Also, related things I fucking hate: cancer, people talking about weight loss and people talking about Jon and Kate.

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