Stuff Rachel Fucking Hates

People who bike on the side of the road. This does not normally bother me so much, but there was a sidewalk right there, clearly intended for jogging and biking. Also, this road is actually a state highway. When you choose to bike there instead of on the beautifully manicured grassy pathway provided for you, I assume that you want me to hit you with my car.

Driving in the city. I presume this is the feeling sailors get about the watery realm they call home – that she is a beautiful mistress, but cruel.   I love walking around your inflated-property-value streets, using the free wifi in your  pretentious cafés, and mining your overpriced vintage clothing stores. But I hate how none of your streets make any fucking sense, and half of them are one-way for no real reason, and you sometimes put traffic lights in the middle of the street even though there is no intersection, and none of your highways connect with one another, and you never have an intersection with only two streets, there have to be at least six. Jesus Christ, it’s amazing I make it home alive.

Macs vs. PCs. At this point, I don’t even hold a grudge against one over the other; I just hate having to switch back and forth between them. I spend 12 hours a week using Macs at my internship, and the rest of my life using PCs. The result is that I look like an idiot hovering over my keyboard, trying to remember whether Ctrl+A will highlight text or open the bookmarks folder or something. This is embarrassing.

Rain. Good LORD will it ever stop? No. Probably not. Cue ark jokes.

My father’s preoccupation with Glenn Beck. Aside from my objection to this on principle, it worries me to think that I might open the linen closet or something and accidentally stumble upon a tiny shrine to him, and a cache of guns. Also, does the suspenseful background music on this show ever not play? I thought it was just for the intro, but I think I was wrong.

The Jon and Kate thing. I am going to talk about this only once, and only to request that we never talk about it again. Goodness! I know there is a recession, but why can’t we focus our escapist energies on memorizing the names of every capital city in Africa, or commercial light mysteries aimed at women?

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1 Comment

Filed under Rachel

One response to “Stuff Rachel Fucking Hates

  1. Heather

    1. I know how you feel!! Practically all my mom seems to do these days is watch Jon and Kate! (ugh)

    2. see here: http://www.cracked.com/blog/i-watch-glenn-becks-comedy-tour-regret-it

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