Daily Archives: May 14, 2009

at least your brain’s well-protected

Today we took my mother to the doctor for some tests, which she passed with flying colors and an anecdote to reuse the next few weeks. “I’ve never seen anything like this,” the doctor said to her, exhibiting the pictures of inside her head. “You have an abnormally thick skull.”

“It’s fine,” my mom chuckled at us later. “But who would have known? I said, ‘I’ve always been thick-headed!'”

“Yes,” I remarked. Hardy har har.

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aw, that liberal protestin’ God’s law and whatnot

So I know we already talked about the gay marriage thing going on in New Hampshire and you’re probably all sick of reading us yammer on.  (But you can deal.)  I did a Google search to see whether Lynch approved the bill and ended up reading the comments section of the Union Leader, a local newspaper, online; I now want to punch approximately 64% of the commenters right in the mouth.  Try kissing your heterosexual life partner when you’ve got the Split Lip of Justice, why don’t you.

Because if you’re going to talk about why homosexuality “is a sin,” and all that, why not be totally honest.  Kissing, et al., is exactly what you’re on about: when you think homosexuality you cut off the last half of the word and think homosex.  Maybe you use the “historical tradition” of marriage to hide behind, but what you’re really saying is that you’re weirded out by two dudes or two ladies macking on each other.  If you really believed we should go back to the kind of marriage dominant throughout history, you would sell your daughters to thirty-five-year-old men for a couple hundred dollars and a cow or two.  There’d be the knowledge that you were lawfully forcing her to have sex with an adult male, but what the hey –– at least you would get some grandbabies out of it!  After all, isn’t that what marriage is for anyway?  Procreation between a man and woman?

Don’t give me that bull; I will just put it in the china shop you bought with your life savings.  You didn’t get married simply because you wanted to bang all the time –– and gay couples aren’t either.  But if I’m wrong and you did marry strictly for sex, then you’re probs divorced by now, aren’t you?  And we all know what the Bible says about divorce.

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