Stuff Rachel Fucking Hates

1. Nicholas Cage’s salary. I spent last night watching FACE/OFF, the cinematic masterpiece featuring Nicholas Cage and John Travolta. I believe Heather has successfully chronicled our growing fascination with Nicholas Cage. But as much fun as it was drinking every time a character did that creepy face-stroking thing, I can’t escape the fact that Nicholas Cage has had 7 movies grossing over $100 million, one of which was Next. I mean, really? In contrast, I work two jobs alongside my full-time student’s courseload, and I don’t even make enough to buy the brand-name breakfast cereal. No justice. Also, if this website is correct, his kids’ names are “Kal-el” and “Weston.” Is that even true? Isn’t Kal-el Superman?

2. Regina Spektor is great, but hasn’t made a new album in… I don’t know, maybe forever. The new Decemberists has leaked, which is great, but to be honest I’d rather be listening to something new of hers. Are you out there, Regina? Can you hear me? Please. I will give you a ride to the studio. I will bring you cupcakes on your breaks.

3.  My mom is beating me at Lexulous.

4. New Facebook blah blah blah

5. Not eating bagels when you want to eat bagels. Why would a bagel shop close at 4 on a Friday? I mean, who doesn’t feel that end-of-the-week bagel craving? There’s nothing else that can really substitute when you want to get your chive cream cheese on, and I should know.

6. How expensive it is to do laundry Am I right, folks? Am I right?

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1 Comment

Filed under Rachel

One response to “Stuff Rachel Fucking Hates

  1. Heather

    OH MY GOD I KNOW
    i told my mom about the dire bagel situation. she agrees with us.

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