top five: tattoos

Two things I enjoy are 1) making lists and 2) the internet. Today and in the future I plan on combining these two things. For now, I would like to talk about tattoos. I have always kind of sort of wanted one, although the specifics change drastically (the Virgin of Guadalupe! A unicorn! Alice Walker! Something in a language I don’t speak, like Telugu!). Even if I can’t get my shit together to get one personally, I spend a lot of time appreciating other peoples’ inked-up body parts. (Also, Miami Ink: not a good show, but not a terrible one!) In no particular order, here are the five most memorable tattoos I’ve come across.

  1. This weekend, I saw a bookstore clerk in Harvard Square with a) a polo shirt one size too small b) skinny jeans c) bright green sneakers d) bangs and e) an argyle tattoo. Yes. It was a blue-and-green pattern, in a band across his bicep. I’m not a fan of argyle myself, but you have to admire how well that guy knows himself. I can’t think of anything that would have been more appropriate, you know?
  2. Also in Harvard Square: one of the (what are they? baristas?) employees at Tealuxe has a really sweet little cartoon rocket ship spiraling up his forearm. I have a deep and inexplicable love for cartoon rocket ships. If I wasn’t aware that I couldn’t pull it off nearly as well as that guy, I would probably just get one myself.
  3. Once while having a conversation on essentially this same topic, memorable tattoos, a friend brought up the best example I’ve heard of inane and irreverent body art: a tattoo of a stick-figure bear fighting a stick-figure dinosaur. I don’t know this guy, but I saw facebook photos, and am convinced it is real. I am not convinced it is a good idea. I mean, really? Really? (The best part of this story is that allegedly as the artist was finishing it up, two drunk frat boys showed up in the studio and were totally floored by the COOLEST TATTOO IDEA EVER. I guess there are now three college-age dudes wandering around Boston with identical bear-fighting-dinosaur tattoos?)
  4. This one isn’t technically real, but it is maybe the coolest: has anyone else seen the movie Blow Dry? No. No one ever has. It is a great movie, with Alan Rickman and lesbians and hair mousse and sheep. It concerns a hairstyling competition, and features two really superlative tattoos. Alan Rickman, hairstylist extraordinaire, has a pair of scissors crossed with a lightning bolt on the sole of his foot. His hair model, an incredibly endearing woman who is sleeping with his ex-wife, has this really epic and indescribable design tattooed on her scalp, the ultimate in making art out of your head. Even if you’re not into weird tattoos, this is a great movie. With great tattoos.
  5. Okay, so this one hasn’t happened yet, but I’m really psyched for when it does. After a lot of conferring and consultation, one of my coworkers has made the decision to get a stegosaurus tattooed on her inner thigh. What a wonderful surprise that will be! I’m very excited for her.

While they didn’t make the list, I’d like to give a shoutout to every guy from highschool with no neck and a Celtic cross on his arm, and every girl with a shamrock on her lower back; that brave soul who got the Toothpaste for Dinner “precipitate/solution” comic on their forearm; and Buddy, this construction worker I used to know with a naked devil lady on his bicep. Way to go, guys!

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1 Comment

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One response to “top five: tattoos

  1. Heather

    best tattoo story I know: my friend used to date a guy who showed up at his tattoo appointment drunk, and he had designed the tat himself. you can guess where this is going, yeah?

    he showed us the tat once. it was supposed to be a fearsome dragon, but mostly looked like a demented baby sprawled out across his ribcage.

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