and so it begins

hello children. Heather is abroad right now, across the pond, in jolly old England, minding the gap and saying “cheerio” and whatever else it is they do over there. I for one am delighted for her but also eager to have her back. I assume you feel the same. I have been trying to blog for the past maybe 24 hours or so, but I haven’t because I’ve just been so fucking dumb all day, I’m like a goldfish, by the end of the three-minute commercial break I’ve forgotten what show I’m watching. I’ll do my best though, don’t you worry.

First of all did you see this thing Riese is doing? Did you look at it yet? She’s posting select livejournal entries from like seven years ago, secret confessions that you probably haven’t seen before unless you are best friends with her IRL. Let’s be honest, if you’re reading this there’s like a 90% chance you also read Autostraddle and are therefore obsessed with her feelings, go check it out and come back.

Mostly I have been doing nothing, not even having feelings. We just graduated; like we put on some robes made from plastic fucking recycled materials and I wore uncomfortable shoes and we walked across a stage and stuff. It was very momentous. Unfortunately I just cannot work myself up to really thinking or caring about this in a significant way, so you will just have to wait until Heather comes back to say something meaningful. Also you should read this comic Batia sent me because it’s kind of perfect. I mean, I love Dar Williams. Like actually.

Also my mom gave me a really nice graduation gift, it is the stone from her engagement ring set into a necklace, it is I think literally the nicest thing I have ever been given. I guess monetarily but really more emotionally? Also it was so sweet the way she did it, she told me that she wanted me to have it but knew that I might not get married so she put it on a necklace, and also that she didn’t want me to be cursed somehow by the stone that began my parents’ trainwreck of a marriage, which made me lol. I am already having anxiety attacks about losing it. Obviously.

I am also having the urge lately to work, like real work like writing things that are not for school, but am being kind of held back by the heat/oppressive anxiety about my imminent move/my uselessness as a human being. I have decided that the way to resolve this is by creating the Best Ever Playlist that will inspire me to do work and also feel awesome. Submit your suggestions starting now. If they are good ones I will share whatever the end result is of my productivity.

Also I think my cat is mad at me. I’ve been home for 48 hours and he hasn’t slept in my bed. I think maybe we should go to therapy together. I think that about everything.